Camping, Glitter, and the Gang
by Adarcoi
Summary: A script for Sugoicon 2009 skit competition. Roxas and friends embark on a camping trip, only to be visited by some unexpected visitors who are a bit too passionate about something way too stupid. HUMOR! ACTION! ROMANCE! Not Really! Read/Review Please!


**A/N**: Okay, so I don't know how many people have read my humor script version of Sixth (you can read it if you'd like, it's still up), but I've decided to write another one. So, thus, this plot-bunny, tween-idol, glitter, inspired masterpeice was born. No, it's no Scary Movie, it's not _that_ funny, but I may use it for a skit in Sugoi 2009, so hopefully it'll be a hit! Tell me what you think. Is it funny? BTW, I was spurred by a growing dislike of the Twilight fanbase. So, Enjoy! AND don't forget to REVIEW, and read my other stories! Danke!

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Characters: Roxas, Hayner, Ollette, Pence, Axel

_Scene Opens in a forest somewhere outside of Twilight Town where we find our Gang around a campfire exchanging end of summer stories._

[[Enter Right: Roxas, Hayner, Olette and Pence]]

Olette: You guys…I really don't know how good of an idea camping is…

Roxas: Oh, com'on, Olette!

Pence: Yeah!

Hayner: What's there to be afraid of?

[[Olette looks around at each of the boys]]

Olette: Well, personally, I'm scared of getting raped. I mean, one girl, three guys, not to mention teenage guys. They might as well just hand us alcohol and call us delinquents! I mean, where are our parents, anyway?

Hayner: Vacation.

Pence: Business Trip.

Roxas: Prison.

[[Another Silence]]

[[Something rattles in the distance]]

Olette: [Screams] What was that?

Hayner: God.

Pence: Girls are so skittish.

Roxas: I'm scared! Hold me!

[[Roxas and Olette envelope into a hug]]

Hayner: God, you guys are such wimps!

Pence: Yeah!

[[Roxas and Olette have meanwhile hidden behind Hayner and Pence]]

Olette: You guys go and see then!

Roxas: This wouldn't happen if Axel was here!

Hayner: Well, I'm going to go see what it is.

Pence: Yeah, at least we're not pansies.

Hayner: *cough* or gay.

Olette: Don't kid yourself, Hayner! [[Laughs]]

Roxas: Yeah, _everyone_ knows that Square Enix characters aren't straight! [[Busts out in haughty laughter]]

[[Hayner growls and drags Pence off right]]

[[Allow a few seconds of awkward silence]]

Olette: [[Glances around, deciding to say anything]] so…how's it going?

[[A scream erupts from off stage right]]

[[Hayner and Pence return, running towards Olette and Roxas]]

Hayner: [[Gasping for Breath]] We…we _have _to get out of here!

[[Hayner tugs at Olette's arm]]

Roxas: But!

Olette: Yeah, why? [[Pulls away from Hayner]]

Pence: The Apocalypse is upon us, that's why!

[[Roxas and Olette exchange more laughter]]

Olette: Ohmigod. You guys are so weird!

[[Hayner tugs harder]]

Hayner: No! Seriously!

Pence: We don't have that much…

[[Enter two girls, Kelsey and Ashley; both are very preppy though trying hard to be gothic. Kelsey is in high pigtails clutching a notebook and wearing a black twilight t-shirt, Ashley is considerably younger and is wearing an identical t-shirt, along with a box of glitter and fake vampire teeth.]]

Hayner: Oh god, they're here.

[[Roxas and Olette peer over at the two girls, interested as to who they are and what they're doing here]]

[[Kelsey is first to move, rushing forward and poking at Roxas]]

Kelsey: Ohemgee! Do you think it's him?

[[Ashley follows suit, rushing forward]]

Ashley: I donno, I mean, he could be! Touch him! You have to make sure!

[[Roxas peels away, hiding behind Olette]]

Roxas: No! I'm emo! Don't touch me!

Ashley: [[Squealing]] I think it's him!

Olette: WHO?

Kelsey and Ashley: EDWARD!

[[Hayner deadpans]]

Roxas: _Who_?

[[Kelsey obnoxiously laughs]]

Ashley: Edward Cullen, duh!

[[Pence stares]]

Pence: I have no idea who you're talking about!

[[The girls finally stop]]

Kelsey: Edward Cullen?

Ashley: Bella?

Kelsey: Isn't this _Twilight_ Town?

Olette: Well, yeah.

Kelsey: [[Suddenly angry]] There where is Edward?!

Roxas: I don't know! [[Cowers behind Olette]]

Ashley: You have to know! [Grabs at Roxas]

Kelsey: We need him!

Ashley: We love him!

Kelsey: WE HAVE _GLITTER!_

Roxas: Make them go away!

[[Hayner, who has been doing much the same as Roxas, instead using Pence as a shield]]

Hayner: I'm scared!

[[Axel enters from the left, finally joining the group.]]

Axel: Hey, Rox! I've come to kidnap you for gay sex!

Roxas: [[Terrified, jumps up and screams]] NO! Axel run! Save youself! You're too pretty!

[[Axel shrugs, exiting stage left slowly]]

[[Kelsey and Ashley exchange interested glances]]

Kelsey: Do you think that's him?

Ashley: It _might _be!

Kelsey: [[Laughs happily and breaks off running]] Wait! Edward!

Ashley: [[Follows suit and runs behind]] WE HAVE _GLITTER!_

[[The group is left dumbfounded and scared]]

Olette: You know, this is the LAST time I'm going camping with you freaks. [Exits, leaving the group behind]

**A/N**: SO?? REVIEW, please? *Cries* I'm BEGGING!


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